Illness and Anxiety

I survived a summer cold at work on the 14th of August. Tired, cold, and achy, I miserably took phone calls. On Sunday, I left church early, slept eight hours then, slept eight more a bit later. The last few months have been a rough ride. I’ve always had anxiety but it was pretty easy to combat it. Stress at work escalated my anxiety. I had panic attacks, fits of crying and had to leave work early. It was time to try something new.

Picking up the phone, I called my doctor, freaking out at his earliest available appointment being more than a week away. I needed answers and something different. I hated being a bawling bag of nerves. I saw the nurse practitioner and said,

“My medication works as long as I am not at work.” She put me on Zoloft instead of Citalopram. I became angry. I stayed angry. If you know me, I’m hardly ever angry. For two weeks I endured feeling like a powder keg and glaring at people, begging for a match to set me off. Anger is a tiring emotion. I tried to endure it to let my body adjust t the medicine but I gave up. I called the doc again and she switched me to Paxil. Paxil seems to be the answer.

Once Zoloft wore off and Paxil started taking effect, I felt like me again. I could handle teasing, jokes, and phone calls without turning into a crying sack of beans or biting someone’s head off.


I’m ready to write once more. I’ll squeeze into my busy work  schedule and making art out of rocks and wire to sell. I have made several wrapped pendants and animals. With the new medication, I feel like taking back my old life. I will work on Anastasia (something else to schedule in), go hiking again, and jump back into the dating pool. With a full-time job, church functions, family adventures, art, and a minimal social life, scheduling dates may be difficult. Life is nothing except chaotic, right?


2 thoughts on “Illness and Anxiety

  1. Sorry to hear about your troubles. But I think you’ve got the right attitude about it. If nothing else, channeling some of these feelings into your work can be a great outlet. 🙂


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