Sometimes my world is balanced. I manage to remember to pay all my bills and even though I’m close to broke, I still have my buffer amount in the bank. My pets decide to get along and the flowers bloom on my windowsill. My dishes stay washed, clothes and belongings are stowed away like an OCD lady lives there. Bills and papers are filed, the car is not full of junk. There is balance.

I feel as if I’m walking on the edge of a knife; one wrong step and I’ll lose the balance. If I lose the balance, life turns chaotic and stressful and I’m constantly calculating finances; trying to figure out what bill to short so I can pay the car payment. When I fall off the knife, I leave tidying by the wayside but that doesn’t help me. Mess and disorganization are signs of unbalance, in my personal life. It doesn’t mean that all mess is bad, just that when the mess takes over everything it’s time for something to change. I learned to change my view of cleaning to make it less of a chore. I keep forgetting that one unfinished tasks leads to another until an avalanche descends upon the village.

Sometimes, I wonder when I will accomplish my dreams. What will I do then? I will carry on, chasing another goal, building more dreams, and encouraging others to do the same.

I really forgot the whole reason of starting this post. I want to puzzle and hedge and leap to conclusions while jumping topics.

Life is a roller coaster. It has many ups and downs and sharp turns. I happen to like roller coasters. Life knocks me down but I keep getting back up and holding onto my faith. I walk the knife’s edge but sometimes, that is okay.


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