Singleness

Life isn’t like the movies. No cute guys approach me and offer to take me to dinner. Seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, or twenty-year-olds and really old men seem to hit on me and ask me out more than guys around my age. Yuck. I don’t date younger guys or old men.

I have not had a date in about four years. I know I’m not unattractive and I try not to go around scowling, so why have I not had a single date? No one around my age has approached me to either say “Hello,” drop their number, or offer to buy me coffee. I did have a man around 45 ask me out, but no one from 23-27. Well, except that one guy who was 29 and I totally messed up by turning him down…. But that was just one time.

I don’t want to be swarmed by guys; I just want to be asked out. Maybe a twenty-five year old with gorgeous eyes would approach me and start a conversation. One who is single. I do not harbor cheaters. If you want to cheat with me, you are automatically marked off my list with the added bonus: “I inform your current girlfriend and the world.”

All I want is a date. I don’t want to do a dating site because it’s not my thing. Surely, someone around me is single and thinks me worth the risk? But where are they?

Let’s list the facts and questions:

I’m single: Are guys intimidated by me? Do they not see my friendly smile? Why are they not approaching me?

Being single is not a bad thing. I rather like my singleness. I tell people, “Yes, being single can be lonesome. I would rather be single and lonely than attached and lonely.” I refuse to be with someone for the sake of being with someone. In other words, I will not be with someone so I can tell the world, “I have someone” or to stave off loneliness. I refuse to be with someone I may never develop feelings for. The way I see it, I don’t need anyone, but I would like to have someone special. A need is different from a want. Need is air; Want is chocolate cupcakes. I would wait a thousand years for someone special instead of settling for the first one to come along.

Are guys misjudging my independence and self-confidence as me having commitment issues? Do I actually intimidate them? If a guy misjudges me based on my confidence, is that my fault? No. Don’t judge me before you know me. I am a strong, stubborn soul with a wide variety of interests. I like video games, books, and rock music. People who know me think I’m pretty cool. I can’t see it. I’m just me. I am not your stereotypical girl. Half the time, I don’t wear makeup and I’d rather hike than shop, unless there is an awesome clearance rack. I prefer martial art movies over sappy, chick flicks.

I am looking for a date. Singular. Not a long term commitment. If a date develops into something long-term, all the better. I mean, it’s called “dating,” or “playing the field,” not “hook up” with whoever comes along first.

I want to get to know someone before I commit, just as I want that someone to know me. Love is not a hasty thing. I dare not rush into it. I’m young, twenty-four. Why should I rush love? I want a best friend I can spend my life with.

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